It's not my favourite thing (maybe not a post for squeamish people)

I mean eating cow's stomach.

As you probably all know by now, I'm a sort of, "When in Rome..." sort of guy. Generally, I'll try out anything once and try to be as open-minded as possible, particularly when it comes to culinary adventures in a new place/city/country. I've tried 100 year old eggs, chicken feet, duck heads, baby octopus, frog, chicken neck, organ soup, pig face, silk worms, a million different types of unidentifiable fish and a host of other strange and exotic delicacies. Some things I couldn't identify and to this day I'm not upset about the lack of knowledge. 

Last night, though, I went out with the friends who own "The Shop" I mentioned in my lost wallet adventure. I buy a lot of my sundries there and will periodically just stop down for a soda and a chat while they're hanging out. But I thought it would be good to hit up some dinner as a group, so after they raved about a local Chinese place that served beef ribs and some other awesome dishes, we made a plan and went last night.

The restaurant was nice, the pijiu was cheap, and they were excellent hosts and company. Since they had been there before and since Sunshine is Chinese (The other half of the shop team, Andris, is a big white guy from Nebraska who teaches ESL at the local Korean school), I let them do the ordering and agreed to try a very Chinese dish: Spicy cow stomach with mushrooms and veggies.

Now, I've eaten a number of dishes featuring organs, and I know that there is a lot of mysterious stuff that goes into the sausages I've eaten in my past. And even though the flavour of the oily broth was good, the texture of the stomach was pretty hard to enjoy. It is, admittedly, a bit rubbery and has a bumpy side to it, like microscopic versions of an octopus' suction cup. I needed a lot of rice to help make the passage pleasant. But as with all new, strange and sometimes unknown dishes, I came, I ate, I succeeded. And I now know another dish on my, "No, thanks. I've tried that one already" list. What fun would life be without some adventure???

And regardless, the company and conversation was great and because I was a sport, they took care of the bill at the end of the night. Another successful eating adventure, all things considered. But the next time I'm offered the stomach dish, I'll politely respond, "Bou yao, xie xie".

On a completely unrelated note, I still owe shout-outs to those who've helped out with Movember donations. Some of you may have been mentioned before, but thanks to Verna, Catherine, Celia, Steve, Sean and Katie for donating so far. Because of you all, I'm at over $140 for my EduMoCators team! Awesome! There's still some time, so for the rest of you, stop by my OFFICIAL MOVEMBER WEBSITE to donate!

Much China love, all.

T

So, things happen to me...

... that don't seem to happen to other people. Sure, a lot of them are my fault. I'm a bit careless and pretty absent-minded. In the past, I've considered my life a sort of experiment in folly. Some would even say a "greatest hits" of how much seriously weird/unfortunate stuff can happen to a person in any given amount of time. My mom's made reference to me as a living version of Bad Luck Schleprock from the 1970's, The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm show. Read the article... you'll understand.

The most recent (and quite poignant) tale began yesterday morning. After breakfast, I needed to locate 10rmb for a cab so I could get out of the house. As I checked my pockets, I couldn't find it. This was strange, because I'm a bit of a creature of habit and always keep my wallet in the same pocket. Then I checked my bedroom... my living room... my kitchen, my bathroom, my clothes washer, my shoes, my patio, my fridge, my slippers, the kitchen cupboards and my apartment stairwell. As all of this was happening, it became apparent that my wallet was nowhere to be found. I freaked. I started having deja vu... my heart started racing, I began sweating profusely, my upper lip curled into a snarl (and not because of my moustache), and then it hit me: the GATE!

Friday night, my friend CG and I decided at a bit of a ridiculous hour to go for a massage. Luckily, in China, massage places stay open quite late as it's more of a recreational experience at many of these places compared to spas back home. People often go after dinner, especially after business meetings and other get-togethers. I do this pretty regularly after a night out with friends, so it seemed totally natural. There's a nice, clean, legit place just on the other side of the nearby BeoYouJiaRe (pronounced Bay-o Jah Ruh). DS and I used to go a lot of weekends. And it's cheap: can you really turn down a $10 massage at 10pm when you're not ready for bed? For me the answer is clear: NO WAY!

So, after our relaxing stop, I was on my way back to my place. However, at 11pm the gate leaving the BeiYou neighbourhood to get to my apartment complex (called SongYuLi) is locked. This isn't typically a problem, though, because it's easy to navigate either over or under. CG jumped overtop while I, being a bit more cautious (I tend to fall off things when it's late and dark and I'm being slightly foolish), opted to shimmy under the fence. The clearance is pretty significant so it's not so hard. The thing I realized the next morning, though, was that I must've lost my wallet there. At 11:15pm. It was now 10am the next day.

Jeans were thrown on, jacket was slung around my shoulders and I was out the door about 8 seconds later. In my rushed, frustrated, non-communicative power-walk, I was going through panicked flashbacks. For those who read these stories last year, you'll remember one of the worst days of my first China year.

I went down to the scene of the crime. Nothing. I asked a local worker/recycler guy in my broken Chinese if he saw my "qian bao". Nothing. I was taken to the BeiYo Properties office by the worker and explained again in my terrible Mandarin that I lost my wallet the night before. Nothing. The massage place. Nothing. The security shack. Nothing.

My only other option: call the police.

This scared me a bit, because, well... I haven't heard the best things about Chinese police. Mainly, I've heard that there's always a "fee" involved with any sort of "help" they provide. In other words, they are known to demand bribes. Our VP's husband got pulled over on his motorbike a few months ago and the cops demanded cash from him. Lucky for him he's a giant of a man and he refused, and the cop who was alone weighed in at about 135lbs. JW got off with a warning.

But, I felt like I needed my wallet more than my pride and few bucks, so I got a hold of an English-speaking dispatch woman who took down my information and sent 3 cops to my place. After meeting them and attempting to explain (poorly, because of my terrible Chinese), the cops just didn't really understand and none of them knew much English. So, I hopped in the back of the police car and went to the station. About 20 mins later, I was walking home. I'd filled out a form, gave them my phone number, explained that I no longer had any money or access to money (which is probably why there was no "fee" involved) and they told me to come back with a Chinese speaking friend in two hours. I was feeling pretty angry and broken still. But all in all, they were actually really friendly and accommodating and I felt a bit bad for assuming things. The fact remained, though, that I still didn't have my wallet: my Visa, my Canadian debit, my Bank of China Card, or really anything else. Deja vu.

Just as I walked up to "The Shop" (owned by some friends just below my place), the worker I spoke to that morning came running up to me. "Ni da qian bao! Ni da qian bao! Zou ba!" which translates to, "Your wallet! Your wallet! Let's go!". Being a sharp guy, I followed.

We ended up back at the BeiYou Property Office and as I walked in, I saw the girl at the desk with something in her hand. She kinda smiled at me, and asked me if I was the guy who lost his wallet. Admitting that it was me, she asked me how much cash I had in it. I explained at there was only a bit, maybe 200rmb (about $35) and told her I had a Visa and a Maple Leaf food card. She opened it up and all the money (220rmb to be exact) was still inside. Somebody had turned it in just after I left and hadn't taken a dime. They knew it was mine from the signature on the Bank of China card... it was an English signature. Thanking them profusely, I left with the worker. I tried to give him a finder's fee/reward, but he refused (the polite-fights over gift exchanges get really epic here). I still wanted to get him something, so I went up to The Shop and got him a carton of smokes (in China, a very common thank-you gift for men is cigarettes), took them down to give them to him, and after a few minutes of saying humble thank you's and telling that we're new friends ("Woda pengyou!"... "My friend!"), he graciously accepted and I was on my way.

After reflecting on the event, I felt like I'd managed to get over a big milestone: I'd navigated a linguistic barrier with cops, workers, office girls, security guards with my little Chinese AND managed to have the universe shine on me by helping me find something that I had no real hope in finding. I might've even made some new friends. Who knows.

Life is funny, sometimes.

Now it's Sunday night and work is sitting in front of me. No more slacking, so for now, I'm signing off from the coast of the Yellow Sea...

T

Western weekends

It's about 8pm on Monday night here and I've still got a bunch of work ahead of me tonight. We're in the middle of our Independent Schools inspection, which means that a group of Ministry of Ed people will be going through our policies, procedures and teaching practices for the next week to ensure that by providing the BC Programs, our school is living up to it's end of the deal. Officially speaking the teachers aren't responsible for the school getting re-certified, but we still have to jump through all the necessary hoops relating to the inspection, which means having materials that are far more detailed and organized than would ever be required back home. For the most part my stuff will be ready to go, but some things will not have the polish that some of my other colleagues will present. 

Part of the reason I'll be up for the next few hours doing this hoop jumping is related to my participation in a solidly western weekend.

This weekend involved a few particularly Canadian adventures with only the slightest tinge of being China. Saturday night, as many of you will know, saw the arrival of a long-awaited movie featuring a particularly resourceful wizard with the initials HP. Well, since I've seen all the other movies and since Dalian almost never gets English language movies, I thought I'd hop on board with a bunch of the FNS crew and take it in. It was definitely entertaining, and the crowd was like a meeting at the United Nations... pretty much all the non-Chinese expats in Dalian were there. We followed this up with a trip to Brooklyn Bar for some snacks afterward and then cabbed it back home to KFQ. 

The morning brought even more Canadian awesomeness. About 6 other people were at my place by about 10am for Hockey Morning in China. Typically it's just me and my buddy Jade, but this week 5 others joined us for the end of the Toronto-Montreal game and most of the Vancouver-Chicago game. Since I have a vpn that can route through a Canadian ISP address, I can stream CBC website feeds just like watching TV back home. And since I can hook my computer up to my big screen and add some make-shift surround sound, it's just like being at home. Only with a better TV. We cooked up scrambled eggs, bacon, mini-baguettes, and had all the fruit, coffee and juice we could stuff in our gills. Everything was amazing (other than the TERRIBLE Vancouver loss... 7-1 for Chicago!) and led to a pretty slow-moving afternoon.

So I'm now up to my ears in work and am thinking about how I'd love to be back there on Sunday, making breakfast and watching the game. Nothing good lasts for long, I guess.

Time for work. Lots of love, everyone. Keep donating to MOVEMBER!!! See the links in the last posts to donate. THANKS SEAN! The EduMoCators have now received $90 from my friends, so keep 'er going!

T

Reasons why I say I'm an old man

It's day 21 of Movember. On Thursday of this week, I had one of the boys I taught in Daheishi last year come up to me with a look of concern and surprise on his face. I said hello and he looked at me seriously and said, "Mrak! Why do you have... this!" He pointed straight at my Mo. He followed it up by saying, "You look so... like old man now!" I laughed it off and attempted to explain that I was growing it more for sport than for a fashion statement (although my self-confidence has skyrocketed in recent weeks), and that it's to raise money for cancer. He continued to look at me with a kind of quizzical look, half-smiling, half-confused, and after saying, "Oh. Okay", he walked away.

So, in the spirit of the season, here's a couple of Movember pictures so you can check out the growth as of today. One is with my buddy Daca who's also participating in the growth attempt (however, his Vietnamese lineage makes him a bit Mo-challenged) during our get together for Hockey Morning in China (I've been showing the games for about a month, but only today did I have more than 2 attendees). And before you judge, people, remember that "Everyone is beautiful in their own way." And by donating to this worthy cause, you'll encourage me to NEVER try this sort of facial hair experiment again!




Also, thanks to Katie and Celia for their donations. If you want to help out, you can donate to one of the following Mo Teams that I've joined...

The EduMoCators
The DMoLIS Team

It's now Sunday night and I'm attempting to motivate myself into doing the hoop-jumping related work that I need to accomplish for our school's certification process. We need to have tidy binders with a whole bunch of very detailed materials that I've never required in the past. I guess it's a good way to organize myself, but I'm just not so organized. And I'm not so good at getting stuff done ahead of schedule. So, lots of stuff to do tonight and tomorrow.

Yours in all the Mo glory I can muster...

T

Weeks that disappear

I can't believe it's Friday night already. I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to figure out where the days went and how I survived the week. At the same time, I'm wondering how I can still have a mountain of work that hasn't really been touched still sitting on my coffee table. Doesn't my Ayi grade my English papers for me as well? Guess not.

My adventure for Friday night is likely going to be non-existent. There's a chance I might venture into the big city to hang with CG and the FNS crew, as they're having a bit of a birthday bash for one of their teachers. But I'm spent. Last night, after going for sodas with my VP and some colleagues after work, I decided I didn't want to fuss and haggle with a cab driver (the LRT - the Qinggui - stops running at about 6:30pm from Jinshitan) so I bunked with the Seaths in nearby Manjiatan for the night. This, along with the busy schedule, 4 post-school meetings, changing offices and dealing with a particularly big number of embittered teenage boys, this whole "sitting" thing is feeling pretty good right now. Yup. A nice feeling on the heiney.

The week was also full of sunshine, running by the beach with my PE boys, and struggling to figure out how I'm gonna deal with our upcoming certification. We have to have a lot of ducks in a lot of rows and that's looming for Monday. And coffee. It was full of a lot of coffee.

In more interesting news, I'm hosting some Hockey Night in Canada games at my place on Sunday mornings now. I have a VPN which routes through an ISP in Canada, so I'm able to stream games from CBC's website right to my bigscreen in my China apartment! AMAZING! So far, though, the attendees have totalled exactly 2: me and my buddy Jade. Even with just the two of us, we've been making epic omlettes, getting stuffed full of OJ and coffee and having a riot watching games that few others in China get to see. This weekend, however, it looks like some of the Jinshitan inhabitants are trekking out to the big suburb of Kaifaqu to partake in the Vancouver-Chicago game which will start here at about 11am. Jade's gonna come by for part of the Toronto-Montreal game I think so we'll do a big breakky thing before all the Jinshi hosers make it here. Should be awesome. After that, though, it's gonna be work time. Too much to do and only a couple days to do it.

For now, mes amis, it's off I run to see if I have the gumption to dance the night away in Dalian or veg on my couch for the rest of the eve. The decision is TBA. So, from the land of lucky money, steamed pork dumplings, donkey carts and KTV, much love...

T

A couple "Mo" pictures, and some B&W/Sepia experiments

I was trying out the B&W and Sepia settings on my camera and took a couple of photos. I want to be a photographer when I grow up. I also wanted to update the Mo-gress (yes, that's Movember progress). Enjoy.

T

It's time to get serious.

As is becoming the trend, I'm sitting in XingBaKe (Starbucks) in KFQ having some coffee, typing away and attempting to find the focus to start getting my life (and lessons) together for the next few weeks. I'm also backtracking and reorganzing (and re-creating) my previous two months of teaching, since we have the Ministry of Education coming to assess our school and we have to have a crazy amount of documentation ready for them to go. We even are required to have day books ready for them, although I'm suspicious that this is more for my administration team than the ministry. But hoops must be jumped through, boxes must be checked, and if I want a good reference and play the game of school politics well, I've gotta get on it. I have a lot of what's needed, but there's definitely a need to supplement some more sparsely documented days. I've never been accused of being an organization freak.

The moustache is coming in brilliantly, and my applications for the Police Academy, the Bus Drivers Training Institute, the Air Force and for the position of a 1940 Boston newsboy have all been getting a lot of attention. I got some new pics taken yesterday so I'll upload them soon. 

The main reason I'm writing today is to say that I finally got signed up with the offical MOVEMBER website. So, I'm hoping that my loyal readers back home can get out their credit cards and maybe donate to help raise money for prostate cancer. And you should all support a cause that helps breed gentlemen worldwide! :)

To donate: CLICK HERE!

For now, I have a pile of work that I'm avoiding so I've gotta get back to it. More pics hopefully later today. For now, my friends, keep on Mo-in'.

T

Mo-rak.

Firstly, Happy Pepero Day to all the Korean folk or anyone who is part of the Korean community. November 11th is a day to celebrate the person you have a crush on by giving them delicious snacks seen above. "Pocky" is the big brand I've been known to chow down on from time to time. So, buy some chocolatey, wafery, stick goodness and give your favourite crush a squeeze on this day. Korean holidays are both awesome and hilarious.

Secondly, Happy 11-11 day. For anyone who hasn't gone screaming and running from my ramblings after a year, congratulations... you are truly dedicated friends. Or I'm paying you. Regardless, I wrote about the slightly-related Chinese holiday of 11-11 when I first arrived here and my students wished me a "Happy Lonely Person's Day". It's a funny story. Check it out. If you choose to not go back in time, the Chinese version is a day which is supposed to be good luck for single people, since the 1-1-1-1 resembles individuals, which means that it's a good day to be single and on your own. For all of those single folk, good luck!

Finally, it's time for a pic or two for Movember. As many of you know, November has become a month for men around the world to grow "Mo"s (or moustaches for the uninitiated) as an awareness campaign for Prostate Cancer fundraising. Although I am not registered on the Movember Canada website, I have friends who are and I'm hoping to sign up this weekend if it's not too late. For now, though, you can contribute to my buddy Kevin in Victoria or my buddy Curt in Edmonton. Kate, these are for you! For the timebeing, here's a couple pics of my growth after 11 days.




From your favourite, globe-trotting Mo-Bro,

T

Quick hits...

I couldn't figure out why my apartment seemed significantly colder last night than previous nights, especially since the heat is now on and working. As I was getting ready this morning, I walked into my "office" (which I mainly use for laundry), and the window was wide open. Ayi must've been airing out the place when she came in this morning and neglected to shut the window. It's winter. Sheesh.

Speaking of heat, the KFQ district is officially providing heat nearly 10 days earlier than last year! Hello, Inefficient Radiator Heat! Goodbye, Drafty Cold Rooms!" Or, maybe only, "So there, Drafty Cold Room! That will make you less potent!"

In China (or, at least in the cities), the government controls/approves the time at which apartments and houses can begin providing centralized heat to their apartments. It's much different than back home where everyone has their own little temp control. Much different. Since most of the heat comes from burning coal in the country, the country delays the access to coal-generated heat. This year, we got lucky... the heat kicked in last week already! Last year, it was November 15th, and it stopped on February 15th. I was not a happy camper when I came back from the tropics after my winter vacation. Of course, you can use electricity to heat your house through space heaters but they're generally not too efficient and can make your electric bill skyrocket. Whatever the case, thank you China for making me slightly less cold than last week.

In non-heat business, it's about 6:24am and fireworks have been firing nearby for about 20 minutes. I wonder if China will ever institute noise laws. Probably not... fireworks manufacturing is probably controlled by the state.

In animal news, I was at the Dirt Market in Beijing and guys were walking around trying to sell animal skins that were slung over their shoulders. Some of them looked eerily like domestic dogs. Not sure... just sayin'.

Off to school. Ciao.

T

It was a good effort, but poorly planned

It's 7 days into that thing called NaBloPoMo and I can officially say I didn't make it. Not having thought about the fact that I wasn't really going to be home on Friday night at all and forgetting about riding a train all night then playing volleyball all day, I totally missed the cutoff for Friday. I could've made something happen this morning to make it in time for the Saturday post, but I thought I'd just give it up. I'll keep trying to post a tonne this month, but I just won't win any awards. So here it is... Sunday.

It's about ten to four in the afternoon (China time, of course), and I'm sitting in the SanLiTun XingBaKe (Starbucks) wasting some time before we head to the amazing Element Fresh for dinner with the volleyball boys. The weekend has been a lot of fun, but hasn't exactly been full of success. And I say this with a lot of understatement. In at least 2 of the games, we got beat. Actually, throttled is a better word. Decimated might be even more apt. Regardless of how you want to look at it, although we were full of smiles and enthusiasm (at least through the first two losses), we didn't quite match up well against the big competition present. There are threats of starting with a whole new roster for the tournament in May but we'll see if it comes to fruition. My spot may even be on the line.

We rode in China-train luxury on Friday night, as we got the "soft sleeper" tickets. Before you jump to silly conclusions, I'll remind you that Chinese beds have, well, no cushion. The "soft" part of the title I think refers to the general nature of the people riding these trains, as there's only 4 people to a semi-private cabin and there's actually some temp control. In the "hard" sleepers, the beds have the same cushion, but people are stacked 3 high, there's no temp control (the top bunk is HOT), no closed-off cabins, and the beds are much more narrow. But just as cushioned. I've only ever ridden in the hard sleepers, but now that I've been in the soft sleeper cabin, I might convince myself that the extra 130rmb is worth it.

Last night was spent having some sodas and delicious food in the same SanLiTun area that I'm in right now. We met up with my friends the Hawkeys and their friend D for food and drinks. A few of us boys, feeling some muscle pain after enduring the challenging matches yesterday partook in a bit of a late-night massage after dinner. I lasted maybe about 3 minutes before falling asleep once we returned to our hostel. But the girl treated me like an inmate, and I think I'm more sore now than when I finished the games yesterday. I also have some strange bruises, which makes me wonder what kind of massage she was actually trained in.

For now, though, the call of food and the need for an ATM are paramount. More will come in the next day or two, but for now, much China love, all. Drop me a line to let me know you're all still out there in cyberland somewhere.

T

On the fourth day...

I've never been a Halloween kinda guy. I used to hate dressing up and going to themed parties. I used to hate the rigmarole of finding a costume, buying it, dressing in it and (often) being uncomfortable for hours on end. Part of it is just my general lack of planning and foresight, but it's also a question of sheer comfort. But since moving to China, it's been one of the things that has garnered greater and greater appeal as days have gone on. All western holidays here seem to have more impact, simply out of their tremendous novelty. So I embrace. I jump in. I participate. However, if you start playing Christmas music on November 1st, I will not speak to you. Too soon, friends. Too soon.

This year, I tagged along with a crew of the newbies and dressed up in the garb of Ryu, one of the old Street Fighter characters. Now, I have to get people to forgive my costume because it's not nearly as Ryu-esque as I wanted (a lack of planning contributed to this scenario), but it worked out in a pinch. Also, I apologize if the picture is grainy but you get the idea. The second pic is of me and the SF crew (with MJM jumping in). The best costumes of the night go to my friend AK (Poison Ivy), Cobra Kai (JM, KG, WS, and RS), Mugatu (CM's dude, Curt), Poison Ivy (MM), Freddy Mercury (LS) and the Crew of Dictators. You guys all inspire me. Next year, I'm on the ball!

Although it's almost time to sign off for the night, I'll hopefully share some funny stories stemming from the 60 or so narrative essays I'm marking tomorrow (along with another 60 over the weekend). For now, I'll leave you with the text from one of MJM's beauties. From the midterm exam we're currently grading...

"Drinking milk can grow us as strong as a beef.I like drink milk very much. The milk tast so wonderful. It's my favorite drink.When I was a little boy, I was very thin. I can't played b-ball. I can't played with other strong boys. I was very sad. I wanted to become stronger. My parents also worries about this question. One day, I had very serious fevers. I feeled so bad, I Didn't want to eat anything. Drink water is not very useful. I remember when I was born my mother always feed milk to me. Then my parents gave me a cup of hot milk. I had drank it, I feels more comfortable. After that, I always drink milk, twice a day. One day, I found that I had become stronger than before. I was very happy. I found a good way to achieved my dream. After two years I became stronger I can plan any thing with my classmates. If you have the same problem as me, please try this way.it will be very useful."

T

It's worked before, so it seemed like a good idea...

About 5 years ago, I embraced the sad realization that genetics were more powerful than sheer will when it comes to some things. One of those things is hairlines.

In an attempt to stop fearing change, I took some initiative and decided that it was time to face a grim reality of my life: I was losing my hair. And to ensure that I'd never be a comb-over guy, there was only one solution: buzz it off. All of it.

This was a traumatic day. Tears may have been shed. I may have stayed at home sick for a few days. But after some long, lonely hours spent sulking in the bathroom, screaming at the heavens, "WHY????", I came around to the fact that although oblong, my head had a relatively non-misshapen look to it and I'd survive to breathe another day with no skull dress. Since that time, I've been regularly buzzing it off every month or every few months. I get sick of the shaggy locks and typically make a somewhat snap decision to get rid of it. Most of the time I'm a DIY'er, and I take my trimmers out and take care of business on my own. Monday night was no different.

As I stood in my bathroom, letting my luscious coif fall quietly in the sink, I felt a distinct slip of the clipper guard. It was the first time I was using Team Seath's clippers that I'd borrowed earlier in the week, so they were a little finicky. But I felt like I caught the guard in time and just kept on rolling. I looked at myself in the mirror, impressed (as per usual) with the success that I had all ears in place and there was no blood running from my neck. Job well done, T. Well done.

The next day at school I got the usual, often exaggerated responses from both students and colleagues. Some mourned the new look while others embraced it. The kids all used it as a way to suck up and tell me I looked more handsome. One kid even said, "You actually look like a man!" Thanks, kid. Yes, that's an F on your report card.

However, as I was finishing up my afternoon block of English, one kid kinda sputtered out, "Did you do that on purpose?" Oblivious, I responded in the expected way: "Did I do WHAT on purpose?" "The spot on the back of your hair! So cool!" Laughter then rippled around the room.

Still confused, I asked them what they meant. A kid offered to take a picture on his iPhone, which I decided to reject, seeing as how I'm the cell phone nazi and all. But then one kid, who was at the whiteboard with a marker, said, "Mr. M! It looks like this!" He proceeded to draw a sort of neck-line picture of my hair with a MASSIVE short piece buzzed out of it. Like, the size of a cigarette package. I thought they were joking, so I asked one of my more trustworthy students. With a huge smile, he just nodded when I asked if it was true. Remember that "slip" of the guard? Ya. Not so much a slip. A BIG GASH.

So I'm currently walking around with what looks like a slot for a 3inch floppy disk drive in the back of my skull. In all the times I've buzzed 'er all off, never once have I had such a fiasco. I guess there's a first time for everything. Makes me think of a skunk-like buzz cut I got when I was a kid at the hands of my dear mother.

In other, less self-deprecating news, I saw a guy siphoning gas out a work truck using his MOUTH as a suction device. I'm also off to Blind Man Massage in about 5 minutes so I need to run. I love you China. I just hope you can love my awesome haircut in return. Until again, mes amis, much love...

T

Robbed (NaBloPoMo Day 2)

It was Halloween over the weekend. I know you all know this. Since a bunch of the ML teachers live in the same vicinity as I do in the Development Zone (Kaifaqu) suburb of the city, a bunch of the ML families gather every year to trick-or-treat at the other ML homes in town. This year nearly 40 kids participated, so it was pretty nutty. A result of Halloween and actually having kids come by trick-or-treating is that there is often candy left over. This was the case with me. I had this mondo bag of glucose and gelatin based delights that were saying to me, "Feed us to your poor, starving students Mr. M! They will love you forever!"

Of course, this is true already. But I thought, "It sure won't hurt!"

With good intentions (and knowing of my weakness for bite-sized snackerals which are easily consumed on the couch), I packed the gigantic sack of deliciousness to school with me this a.m. with high hopes of inspiring some excellent, pre-midterm review. Class number one seemed to respond with tonnes of vim and vigour as I attempted to round up some potential cavity-ridden clients for the local dentists. I taught that class right before lunch, so I stealthily stashed the remaining duffel of delcious in the podium for about 40 minutes over the break, knowing I'd be back in the class before the end of lunch for my second English block of the day.

When I returned from my lunch break, I reached into the podium drawer and... NO CANDY. I looked everywhere for it and nothing. I even decided to stalk the entire floor of the building, but had no luck. I knew that I'd been the victim of the old candy swipe. I was choked. I proceeded to send emails to the school office trying to find out names of kids who spend their time in that class at lunch, to find out the homeroom teachers' name, and decided to send an email to the staff explaining that I'd been a heist victim. 

No one stepped forward. No one gave it back.

Just when a guy wants to share some cheer amongst his morose, half-comatose kids, a sticky-fingered bandit decides to ruin all the fun. I'd be a lot less angry if it was my own candy. But it was for my kids. Ya know? It's just not right.

Anywho, midterms run the next 3 days so I'm out of the classroom and in various offices marking papers, posting grades, and helping stragglers squeak by. Tomorrow I'll share my story about my recent less-than-stellar homemade haircut attempt. Also had another vball practice, so I'll update a story about that too, somewhat soon. Gotta keep some fodder for future posts! NaBlo is a marathon, not a sprint.

T

NaBloPoMo? Should I even try?

It seems like a bad idea. You know...this who, "National Blog Posting Month" where you're supposed to submit one entry every day for the entire month of November. Like, a really bad idea. There are lots of reasons for this. First, my procrastination capabilities and general absent-mindedness are epically high, which make the potential for success really low. This also means that it's already easy for me to avoid work, and having a whole month of writing-related excuses to avoid marking papers isn't particularly helpful. Finally, I try to make this blog at least moderately interesting so people actually keep reading. But posting every day might get boring for all ya'll. So I'll have to think about it. I have another, more secret blogging home so maybe I'll split the burden between the two.

In other news, Halloween has officially been survived and "Mo"vember has officially begun. So, to start the new month, I'm not only participating fully in the moustache-growing adventure of Movember, but I also buzzed off all my hair again to get back to a more aerodynamic version of, well, me. Hopefully it'll help this weekend, as I'm off to Beijing for a volleyball tournament, the same organizers/location as the one I attended last spring. Sooo much fun.

For now, though, it's 6:21am and that means I'm gonna be late for school if I don't get my hustle on. Happy Movember, people. Tales of Halloween to follow.

T