Recounting the ridiculous

I'm just about ready to call it a night. The week at school has come and gone and I think the new semester, though riddled with new challenges, will be a positive one. Just as I finished up a movie, I thought about all the challenges that I encountered between my final day of school in January and my arrival back in Dalian on the 25th of Feb. So, in order to make my loyal readers feel better about their lives and their luck, this is the anti-highlight reel of my adventures in SE Asia! :)

1) Two days before I fly to Hong Kong, I lose my wallet in a taxi. No amount of calling or inquiring will rescue it. So, I'm forced to deal with life without debit cards, my Visa, my BC driver's licence, my health care card, my school's food card, 600Yuan cash and a number of other important pieces of plastic. Awesome.

2) After an enjoyable time in Hong Kong and an uneventful time in Bangkok I arrive in Ayuthaya, Thailand. Seeking out my guesthouse as I read my Lonely Planet map, I walk DIRECTLY into the end of a 10ft long metal rod weighing down a sign overhanging the sidewalk... for the guesthouse I stayed at. I start bleeding profusely and need to be patched up by the guesthouse manager. I have a scar to prove it.

3) Because of the wallet incident, I ask my parents to wire some money to me via Western Union while in Chiang Mai. I choose a location which I believe to be close to my guesthouse, and because I have wonderful parents, they do this for me. The next morning, I realize that the address is about a 40 minute walk away. I arrive and I find out that the branch is closed. I was directed to another branch... and it's computers were down. Finally I reached a branch and received my money. All this after nearly 2 hours of walking around in 33 degree heat with no hat (the gash on my forehead prevented such head gear).

4) I arrive in Borneo and hiked up an amazing and monstrous mountain. Before climbing, I was told it would be cold at the summit. Considering myself a rustic Canuck, I prepared by carrying many layers but disregarded the advice to wear gloves. It was 5 degrees at the top. Wind. Granite. It took 4 hours AFTER our descent to have full feeling return to my fingers. (I realize this is more stupidity than bad luck, but it seems to fit).

5) Upon attempting to leave Kuala Lumpur for Cambodia, I arrive at KL Central Station to catch a bus to the airport. I ask for a ticket for the 9am bus. I pay, take my ticket and wait. And wait. At 9:05 I inquire about when we're leaving, only to learn that there is no 9am bus that day, only 9:30. I arrive at the airport too late to check in and miss my flight.

6) After attempting to book another flight to Cambodia and realizing it's fruitless I ask for a ticket to Vietnam for the same day. No Cambodia for me this trip. I arrive upstairs to check in again, and am told I can't board the flight without a visa for Vietnam which I have to get at an embassy or online. I don't have one. I have to rebook for the next day. Rushed visa cost: $75USD + another night in a g.h. and travel back and forth between the airport with 20kg of gear. 

7) Arriving at the Saigon airport, I went to pay the final $25USD for my visa. They don't accept Malay currency. I went down to the money changer, and they more or less steal nearly and extra $10 for the exchange. And they mention they're doing me a favour.

8) Generally got hustled for street food and cabs fares at a variety of places. No big deal.

9) Tried to find my flight reservation for my Vietnam Airlines flight from Hue to Hanoi in my email inbox. Can't find it. Try contacting V.A. with no luck. I had encountered some internet problems the day I booked, so I assumed the payment didn't go through (as I never got an online acknowledgement of my booking). So, I booked another ticket. The day of the flight, I realize that the confirmation did, in fact, get sent to me, but was in my junk mail folder... which I can't see from my normal email window. I bought two flights for the same day at different times.

10) I already told the story about Beijing and the girl I call GG. If you haven't read it, scroll down.

My mother laughs at me a lot when I recount such stories, and has, on a number of occasions, called me a poor little Schleprock. I always had an idea that this wasn't good, but here's the definition of Schleprock provided by Wikipedia:

"Badluck Schleprock is a character from the 1970s Hanna-Barbera animated television series The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show and The Flintstone Comedy Hour. He was voiced by Don Messick. The character has since been assimilated into popular culture and become an icon and stereotype for unlucky or hapless individuals."

I don't know if I should be allowed to leave my apartment ever again. Happy Friday, all.

T

Those closest to me are beginning to wonder if I'd be a good partner in the Amazing Race... looking at this track record, I don't blame anyone for wanting to stay far, far away.