Speaking too soon

So there was this opera that we were supposed to sing... which I then thought was cancelled, since we've only really practiced once as a group, and the auditions were to happen at one point today. Likewise, two of the other foreign teachers weren't keen and were planning to bail.

My phone rang this morning, shortly after I returned from the Monday morning Flag Ceremony.

"Trevor, your morning classes during blocks 3-5 are cancelled so you can rehearse," says Susan, our extremely friendly assistant in the ESL office.

"Rehearse? You mean for the opera performance? Are we still doing it?" I queried.

"Of course! Steven will meet you and the rest of the foreign teachers with the costumes in the gymnasium during 3rd period," she replied.

"Costumes? What costumes??"

"Have a good reheasal!" I could hear her smile through the phone. Then, *click*

So yes, there will be a performance. And yes, there will be traditional Chinese operatic costumes. And I'm just leaving my apartment to head back to the gymnasium for a second rehearsal before we perform it for a group of admin-types from the Dalian office. And I've been told there will be pictures. I don't know if I'll EVER let them escape the camera on which they're taken, but apparently they're being taken.

Don't say I didn't immerse myself in the culture here, people. Wish me luck.

T

A week of 10 days (and the explanation of the Opera)

This has week has felt like anything but seven, 24 hour periods.

It began with meetings that I tried to initiate and put my head at ease with some of the admin types in the ESL system here with the school. However, it seemed to frustrate and partially enrage my lead teacher, as I believe she's been taking my steps toward clarity as a challenge to her role and to the system she's been working within for the past few years. I think she's secretly plotting my death on her dart board at home. However, I'm the first actual teacher from BC she's had to work with in those years, and the fact that I'm trying to solve problems as if I'm still back home is a bit frustrating for both of us. Maybe a voodoo doll is involved.

I was happy with the status of my resolutions, however, regardless of how she felt at the end of them. So as an attempt to get back to the good, I joined my chess/badminton compadre and two of the Chinese ESL teachers for some local Hot Pot (spicy Chinese eating style where you more or less boil/cook a selection of meats and veggies in a spicy broth that sits in the middle of the table... more of an event than a meal!) which was pretty tasty and steamed my glasses to no end.

Alas, it was not meant to be and Wednesday made this known. Not only did I wake up with some serious stomach issues in the morning (read previous eating adventure and assume some possibly undercooked items were sampled), the weather turned into the cold and windy kind of miserable (I went for a run the day before yesterday in a sunny, 8 degree afternoon and Wednesday was -4 with about 65Km/hr winds), and by about 8pm, my stomach wasn't better, I started running a fever, and my internet at home died. Can we say VOODOO?

After sweating and shaking through Wednesday, I suffered through Thursday with a similar body state. I came to teach my classes (luckily Thursdays I only have a couple blocks) wearing a sweater, toque, and scarf, attempted to eat lunch at the cafe (of which I ate, well, nothing), and went home to nap/sweat/shake the rest of the day away without internet until I finally rolled into bed. Again, blame it on the witch doctor.

Friday felt slightly better and although the stomach issues lingered a bit, my fever broke early in the morning, my appetite returned a bit and I was composed enough for school. It wasn't fun and I again wore my scarf all day, but the kids thought it made me look "handsome" (I love these polite, dishonest Chinese kids!) so I was able to cope. Friday didn't see a resolution to the internet issues, but I made it through unscathed.

Saturday things started looking up. Stomach issues were almost totally gone, no headache remained, no fever came into play, and I made my way to D&M's for our Saturday morning movie and some hangout time before venturing for a few errands. I met another friend for lunch and we spent the afternoon eating parfaits at a local dessert cafe and playing board games. I met back up with D&M and went out for Indian food again with 4 other teachers from the high school. We finished the night with drinks and a movie and because of my previous sickness, I nodded off at about 9:55pm.

I'm back home now (Sunday night) after watching the Habs game this morning via the wonderful internet, and then picked up my dry cleaning and placed an order to get some dress pants made for 150RMB at a local tailor ($24 Can). Sooo good. I was able to fix my internet on my own tonight, and after downloading a boatload of Christmas cartoons and music, I'm getting ready to spend my night marking papers. Success is finally here.

Now, the opera comment follow-up:

We were approached by the ESL director with a request that we (the foreign teachers) participate in a skit/performance for the new year celebration before holidays. I jumped on board pretty quickly, not realizing that we wouldn't get to choose the mode or style of performance we'd do. What was chosen, you ask? A traditional Chinese opera. Now, some of you have been lucky enough to see me at karaoke. Others have been subdued by my intermittent serenades. But I'm sure all of you are suspicious that opera might not be my, ummm... thing. Well, you're right. Especially when it involves singing IN CHINESE!

Regardless, I showed up at the two rehearsals I knew about and did my darndest to learn my lines and sing in key. And I thought that maybe... just maybe... we wouldn't totally embarrass ourselves. It turns out that because a total lack of organization on our singing "instructor's" part, we only met twice about it and really only rehearsed once, and we're supposed to perform tomorrow. Because of this lack of practice and coordination, the other foreign teachers bowed out and, as you can imagine, I decided to NOT do a solo. Judge me lightly, please. I just wasn't ready for the mainstage in a genre that wasn't a part of my C.V. Maybe next year.

Marking calls and December's almost here. Happy Sunday...

T

Attacked by a rabid dog!

I was running, hoping to put just a little more distance between him and me. He was huge and snarling and obviously out for blood. Every second seemed to bring him closer to my meaty calves! I didn't know what I could do to shake him... he came out of nowhere! All I could think of was, "Run faster!" Giving a half-kick with my heel in hopes of scaring him off while screaming for my life, I picked up the pace just one more notch. I was out of options. Finally, after stretching my stride as long as I could, he finally veered off and ceased the attack. I was safe.

Disclaimer: this "hook" for this story, although moderately true, stems from a comment from a former co-worker who said that I need more meat in my introductions so the reading is more interesting. And what's more interesting than being attacked by a feral dog?!?

The "attack" wasn't so much an "attack", per se. It may have happened like this: I went for a run the other day for the first time in a few weeks. The weather was finally cooperating and the wind was no longer blowing 70km/h. As I headed up the road, a curious dog zipped out from a nearby field and started "chasing" me. As he neared my heels and barked once or twice, I did, in fact, kick my heel at him to scare him off. It did the trick and he bolted back into the field. So I kept running and leisurely enjoyed being outside in mid-November. There was no need for a tetanus shot, nor for an unexpected trip to the emergency room. Disaster was averted and the curious mutt was no worse for wear. I thought I might see the same pooch on my run today, but I'm obviously only interesting the first time I'm seen.

Still though... the story is much more fun when the dog was feral, snarling and huge!

I ventured into Dalian over the weekend to do some shopping with a few of the other foreign teachers at the school. D was away for another hockey trip and M was planning a night out with the hockey wives and other ladies of the high school. So I thought it would be a good time to check out the big city a bit more and pick up some of the things I'd neglected to buy for the past 8 weeks.

Another funny story...

Before shopping, Stephanie (one of the other foreign teachers) needed to stop at the bank to figure something out. Before leaving, she and another girl decided to use the washroom. After about 10 minutes elapsed, I started to wonder what the heck they were doing. Then I heard it... "Help! I'm stuck in the stall!" Upon entering the bathroom, Stephanie decided to use the ONE stall that had a broken latch, and although it allowed her to lock the door from the inside, the latch refused to unlock. We tried various implements to pry/jimmy the door, but to no avail. Also, she's not a world class gymnast so she couldn't scale the 8-ft high stall walls to get out. She also couldn't squeeze under the door, as there was a total of 4 inches of clearance between it and the floor. Laughing hysterically while being slightly embarassed, I found the security guard who let us upstairs (the bathrooms were on the 2nd floor which was closed for the weekend, but he graciously showed us up a few minutes before) and after another 5 or ten minutes, he was able to unscrew the entire mechanism and take the whole lock off the door, freeing Steph from the public washroom nightmare. She survived in one piece, but I keep asking myself... who gets locked in a public bathroom stall in a bank in China!?!?

After taking care of some bill-related errands, we headed to the centre of Dalian to get some food (a 3.5RMB Chinese chicken burrito-type thing) from a street vendor, checked out the local book stores to get maps (the foreign language bookstore was lame-o), and then hopped in a cab to go to my destinations of choice which included IKEA!

Our first stop was actually Decathalon, a local sportswear and gear store that carried everything from ski equipment and badminton birds to bike helmets and yoga mats. I picked up a sweet pair of workout pants for about $25 Can along with some badminton birds (I've been playing some of the grade 9 boys and have a showdown set with one of the other teachers tomorrow) and a new yoga mat. After enjoying the post-shopping buzz, we hit up a huge supermarket to pick up some necessities before heading to... IKEA!

Ikea is awesome for a couple of reasons, especially in China.
a) Cheap stuff is even cheaper

b) Coffee is semi-delicious and 1/4 the price of Starbucks

c) Can you say, "Swedish Meatballs"???

I was able to score a sexy lamp for my living room (goodbye, blue overhead lights), some more coffee and a few glasses and mugs for my place. We were able to return that night with full arms, full bellies (mmmm.... Swedish Meatballs), and tired legs. Sunday was an experiment in doing nothing, and we're now in another week. It's only Tuesday but I already can't wait until Friday.

Did I tell you I'm performing a traditional Chinese opera (IN CHINESE) in about 10 days? No? Oh. That'll have to wait until next time. Ciao for now!

T

Battling philosophies

Note: I wrote this last week in the middle of a frustrating encounter at the school. Today I was able to meet up with some superiors at my job to discuss the miscommunications and frustrations I felt and they seem to have be received positively. However, I didn't post anything last week and am not yet ready for my exposee on food, so this will currently take it's place. I have a couple other funny stories to share if I get to them tonight, but otherwise, the food exposee will be coming soon...

I'm a pretty stubborn dude. Most of you are likely reading this and are probably asking yourselves why I point out the obvious. I do so because I seem to run into situations where, no matter how vehemently I present a perspective about something, that someone will simply tell me I'm wrong (or even just ignore me). I don't even need to convince them... just persuade them enough for them to think that I have a reasonable position. This is generally enough to pacify the rise in blood pressure I face from time to time,

Most of the time, I like to think that I'm open-minded. I'm sure there are a few of you who are asking yourselves, "How can he kid himself like that???". I'm sure I can think of instances where my belief in my own open-mindedness doesn't exist, but I don't like to focus on those moments. I'm much happier thinking about the times where I think/know I'm correct and I've convinced people of a perspective. Ask my parents... they've known this passion (read: "obsession") for arguing and spouting off about things in a slightly (read: "ridiculously") enthusiastic and vehement way. Others see this as well. Anyway, enough about me...

I'm living in a country that doesn't exactly embrace this passion for conflict engagement. And I'm definitely teaching in an environment where I can see faults and flaws in a big system, and I've been told by some that I have to just live with it. Like I've said before... T.I.C. As you can imagine, this brings some frustration into my life, as I like to have a chance to voice my perspective and I like even more to convince people that things need to change (if I think I've found a flaw). In China, this is not only discouraged, but it's systematically removed from the whole equation. It's not easy to bring up grievances when no one is available to listen. And the few voices who I expected to listen (re: my fellow foreign ESL teachers from Canada) have their own regimes that they're unwilling to change. Or, they're feeling drowned by this system so they tell me to move on and forget about it because the system is much larger than me and I don't have the power to fix. The only thing left to do is work within it.

I understand the truth of this sagely advice. I also know I'm speaking very generally here. I guess I don't want to get too far into it for personal reasons, and so I'm attempting to get past it all. It's just not that easy sometimes. I'm already dealing with a variety of personal challenges relating to my life both in and out of school, and this is only compounding the frustration.

There is a bit of sunshine in this rant. It's FRIDAY! And because the Chinese teachers are stuck at the school all weekend (our school is hosting a national meeting of Chinese public school teachers) there were some complaints amongst the staff... so the admin is taking everyone in the ESL department out for dinner! So the equation is such: Friday + Free Food = Satisfied T. Maybe life isn't so bad. Sometimes I just gotta wait out the rain.

T

The arrival of the cold months

I know I mentioned it before, but it seems like winter has officially reared it's ugly head here in the NE of China. The night is dark, the air is frozen, and we received our first snowfall of the year here in Daheishi over the weekend. The wind has been blowing for nearly two weeks, and even on days where it's manageable, it still stings the face like a cold slap in the morning. Some people may recall one of my main reasons for leaving southern Alberta: the wind. Well, some things just follow you around in life. This is mine. Crap.

Another weekend was spent in Kaifaqu and the focus seemed to revolve around food and a bit of shopping. I made the two hour public transit commute over to Kaifaqu on Friday night to hang out with some of the h.s. teachers for some food and beverage and a night full of playing Crokinole, Euchre, and watching the newest episodes of The Office. It's a show I never watched or appreciated while back in Canada, but one that I've definitely come to embrace (in all it's awkward glory) over the past few weeks. That night we ordered in some local cuisine to Damon and Shannon's place (good friends of Darren's and now of mine) and was really tasty... some spicy sichuan dishes along with some great chow mein and other entrees spread across a table. I can't remember what the name of the fried sweet and sour pork dish is called, but I'll let you know when I remember. Sooooo good.

Saturday was dedicated to running errands and finding some important sundries... a badminton racket so I'm prepared to play the Grade 9 boys this week (I ended up with two in a package for less than $10 Can), a new scarf (mine is pretty itchy on the neck and slightly bulky), and some foodstuffs to bring back for cooking this week. Saturday night I hooked up with some new friends from the high school (they all know D&M but aren't super close with them) who I met on Halloween and have become friendly with the past few weekends, and we hit up a local hotel for some delicious Indian food... again, SOOOO good. Even though they had absolutely no vegetable dishes available (why, you may ask? I don't have the slightest clue. T.I.C.), the butter chicken, spicy pakora and Tikka Masala was well worth the lack of vegetation. There were six of us there and we had a really good time watching strange Asian track championships on the tv and sharing battle stories from the week of teaching. It's also been good to meet some new people so I'm not overwhelming D&M with my weekly visits!

Sunday was a lot quieter and consisted of reading, a nice (though cold) walk up to the UFO hill (I'll explain another day), a bit of prep work and a bit of food. I caught the student bus back in the afternoon and relaxed in the evening. It's not so much fun to be outside when the wind is howling and the air temp is already -5. And so another week has begun! I'm thinking of staying here in Daheishi over the weekend this coming week and exploring the metropolis of Dalian on my own a bit on Saturday. I'd like to check out some stores, start looking at cameras, and maybe take a browse through Ikea. I need some lamps and a space heater so they're at the top of my list along with the camera. And since I haven't explored barely any of this city of 6 million, I figure it's probably about time. With my new scarf on, I'm feeling brave I guess! The teacher-boys from the high school are heading out on another hockey trip, this time to Jilin (in the NE closer to N. Korea), but I think I want to focus on sightseeing rather than spending my time in a cold rink for a weekend. Don't get me wrong... the last trip was fun. But I'm here to explore life and culture and all the strange things China has to offer. I'll learn to skate when I get back to Canada!

For now, though, my feet are freezing and I need to turn in. Most of you back home might just be rising (as it's nearly 10pm here and about 6am or 7am back in western Canada), so I hope you find more warmth than I've been experiencing lately. Who keeps windows and doors open in an unheated building in winter??? Oh yeah... the Chinese do. Like I said... This Is China.

T

Happy Bachelor(ette)'s Day

I'm in one of my grade 9 classes this afternoon, and the kids were snickering and laughing a bit at the start of class. Not knowing what was going on, I just smiled, said hello and began speaking to the class. We talked briefly about their midterm grades (which they just received today) and I asked them if they knew what holiday it was back in Canada. Laughingly they responded, "It's 11-11 day!" I said, "Yes, it's November 11th. But do you know the name of the holiday in Canada today?" Still sniggering and giggling away, they started speaking in Chinese to each other, trying to figure out the right way to say it. I could tell that what I had in mind and what they were thinking were two different things.

You may ask, what is the first phrase that comes to their mouths? "It's Lonely Person Day!" By the confused look on my face, they realized that "lonely" might not be the right word. I asked if they were sure that they had the right word. Then one of the students piped up, "It's Single Person Day!" Again, looking confused, I wrote it on the board with a question mark to see if I had it right. It turns out that yes, it is in fact "Single Person Day", or "Bachelor's Day". I tried to get them to explain the day to me, but the only thing they'd tell me (with smiles and nervous laughter) is that it's a good luck day for single men (but maybe not for single women?) because of the four "1"s that come up in the numerical writing, and single people are "sticks" like in 11-11. I never did get an elaboration... I guess they didn't know how to say that it's a good day for "picking up chicks".

Regardless, I thought it was pretty funny. After the laughter died down, I did go on to explain to them that Canadians remember the lost soldiers from past wars and family we've also lost in the years gone by. I told them about the moment of silence that extends across Canada in the morning and about the poppies of Flander's Fields. I recited a few verses of the famous poem, discussed the sombre tone of the "remembrance", and then couldn't help but laugh at them when, immediately following my respectful explanation, they began asking about me and my relationship status with HUGE grins on their faces. Let's just say I moved on to the next part of the lesson pretty quickly.

It was too funny not to share.

So to all of you single folk out there, Happy Bachelor's Day from China!

T

Saturday yelling matches and Sunday solitude

Another week is on the books. The days were quite hectic with meetings and flu shots and the business of mid-term test season. We had to make sure we coordinated pick up times for exams and go through what seemed like endless discussions about marking rubrics and expectations. Even though I haven't finished my marking, I have many hours left in the day to try and find some motivation to attack at least one stack of ESL paragraphs. Oh joy. Oh bliss. If my Friday night wasn't exciting enough with my self-motivated Mandarin lessons on tape...

The bus ride out of Daheishi yesterday made for quite an interesting ride. Being a passenger or driver in China is an adventure in itself. You never know what kinda crazy stuff is going to happen on the roads here, as it seems like it's pretty much every man for himself. As I was listening to my new Mandarin tutorial or my IPod, mumbling phrases like "Excuse me, can you speak English?" to myself like a crazy person, our bus driver started blaring the horn. Although the horn honking isn't something particularly intriguing anymore, the voracity with which the bus driver was honking was enough to get everyone's attention. He also hammered on his brakes and quickly proceeded to engage in a yelling match with a man who was stopping our bus in the middle of the road so a work truck could turn into a parking lot. This was instantly met with more yelling from the truck driver and the man who was stopping the bus in the street. Every 10 seconds, the energy of the yelling increased and the kids started chattering louder and louder. Suddenly, the bus lurched into "park", then engine was cut, and our bus driver was off the bus and face to face with the man on the street. The kids could hear the yelling and started laughing nervously while crowding the windows to catch a glimpse of the near-fisticuffs that were about to turn into an all-out brawl. The few Chinese teachers on the bus jumped off and attempted to intercede as diplomats in order to help bring some peace to the situation, but the pushing, shoving and yelling didn't slow down. As the only remaining adult on the bus, I attempted to calm the kids and get them away from the front door as they jostled for position near the front. The shoving continued as words were exchanged.

After about 5 minutes of snarling and chest-puffing, the two parties separated and our bus driver returned in a huff. At least no blood was shed, but the kids were wound up like toys after this, and didn't exactly settle down for the rest of the 60 minute trip. They were pretty rowdy for the rest of the trip, and it sure didn't help that they saw a truck who'd lost a load of light standards (which were strewn all over an intersection) and an accident involving a motorcycle and a van. Let's just say my mastering of "Can you help me?" in Chinese didn't exactly happen.

The time in Kaifaqu was fun and low-key in comparison. I hung out with some new people, ate some absolutely delicious Korean BBQ at a place near the An Shung market, and was able to wander the streets without forcing D&M to spend time with me. Well, a LOT of time with me, anyway. I know they like the company, but I also know that for 4 or 5 weekends in a row I've been keeping them occupied, so I hoped this helped to give them a bit of a break.

In work-related things, I'm still hoping that some sort of position comes up at the high school sometime soon. There's been rumblings about one or two random jobs popping up here and there around the high school campus, and being as isolated as I am, I'd love the chance to see a new area of the city and meet some new people. I don't mind the quiet out here, but after a month of quiet weeknights, I'd be happy to try something new. I think I have some A.D.D. tendancies and they're beginning to shine through just a bit right now. But I'd be content to stay out here, knowing that I might be heading to Beijing in a few weekends and winter break will arrive before I even realize it. Lots of other things on the plate to keep me going.

I still haven't purchased a camera, but that will be my first task next week once the November paycheque comes through on the weekend. Until then, I'm simply burning the strange and beautiful images of red sunsets and cabbage-filled transport trucks into my brain until I can start snapping photos. For now, though, dinner calls.

T

Wake up call

It's 4am and my bed begins rattling against the wall. I wake from a deep sleep, confused and wondering why the ground underneath me is shaking. It's dark in my room, so I can't really comprehend what the noise is or where it's coming from. As my senses slowly collect themselves, I realize that I'm being woken up again by something that kept me up for a night last week: bombs and heavy artillery.

I guess I should explain this if I haven't already. Living in the rural part of Dalian that I am, there's a nearby firing range and heavy artillery base which must carry out semi-regular practice. And because I'm out in the boondocks, they do night-time training exercises nearby at any hour they please. It might have started earlier than 4am... I'm not sure. But it continued through until about 6:30am. I knew this because at the exact time my alarm went off beside my bed, the shelling and booming and crashing ceased. Only when I was ready to get up did it stop. Is that irony? I think I'm too tired to figure it out.

The week at school has been pretty normal, but a bit frustrating. I have a class of grade 9s who are collectively pretty weak (even though there are about 8 really solid students). The main problem is these kids fall back on the excuse that they don't understand my directions or the stories or the questions or the word "dictionary" (even when they have fully Chinese explanations), and they simply neglect to do their work. Instead, just like teenagers do, they goof off and slack off and refuse to ask questions or come prepared with translators/dictionaries that would enable them to complete the work. And since I don't have backups because of the poorly stocked book and dictionary supplies at the school, I'm left frustrated and they rely on taking answers from other kids. Although I have some ideas about how I'm going to change this starting on Monday, it still irks me just a bit.

In other news, I still haven't received any Chinese lessons yet. Most or all of the kids who needed the Chinese Foundations class here at the school (the most basic level of intro Mandarin) have been able to move up to level 2, there's not actually a class for me to take right now. So I'm trying to get some programs online that will aid me in my self-study. I'm also hoping that one or two of the teachers here will be keen to do the same thing so I won't go at it alone. I see a lot of talking to myself in the future. Not the crazy voices-in-head talking, but a lot of in-home Mandarin recitation instead of spending time watching every season of Dexter or Criminal Minds.

The weekend looks like it will be spent in Kaifaqu again, but I'm hoping to do a bit more exploring. Apparently there's a pretty kitschy Dinosaur Park somewhere in that part of town, so I think it would be a riot to check out and act like a kid for an afternoon. Then it looks like I'll be filling my belly with Korean BBQ after that with some new acquaintances... should be delicious. D&M are working hard on marking and Masters stuff, so hopefully they'll inspire me to get motivated and do the same, but at this time it remains to be seen. It would make my life much easier in the long run though. If any of you have brilliant ideas to teach kids writing and speaking who don't know a language, please let me know! 

T

An excuse to be ridiculous

Halloween is fun time of festivities for kids of all ages. The trick or treating, pumpkin carving, the joy of dressing up like ghosts and goblins and fairy princesses allows children access to living out their imaginative dreams of being someone beyond just a child.

And it's a great excuse for adults to dress up and act like fools for a night.

There aren't too many holidays which excuse so much crazy, silly, juvenile behaviour from grown-ups. But since it's excused, I embraced it just a bit this year. After mulling over costume ideas that were far too complex to pull off, I finally decided that a tribute to Flashdance and Richard Simmons would suffice as a costume ridiculous enough to be hilarious, easy enough to pull off in a single hour of shopping, and cheap enough that I didn't have to break the bank to make it happen.

So without further ado... you can see a few of the pictures HERE. Enjoy!

T