As of Monday, I will have been here for a month. It's slipped by quietly and sneakily, and I can't seem to figure out where the month has gone.
As any typical foreigner living in a far-off land, I've become very aware of the things China does well and the things China does, less well... maybe even poorly. I figured that since you have all been hearing me talk about my daily adventures, that this would provide a bit of pragmatic insight into things over here. So, here's my "Top 5" (or 7) list of things done well and not well, beginning with the not-well.
Things done "Not Well" in China:
1) Plumbing. To be honest, there's actually only one issue with the plumbing: no gas traps in sinks and shower drains. You know that little "U" shaped pipe under your bathroom and kitchen counters? That, my friends, is there for a reason. With any plumbing system, methane builds up in the pipes and septic system. That little "U" pipe doohickey prevents methane from entering your house and filling your kitchen and bathroom full of funk. China knows nothing of the "U" pipe. So without a cover over your drains, the funk builds up in a seriously pungent way. Bad news. For the first 3 weeks living here, I was sans-cover.
2) Showers. I needed to follow the first point with a closely connected second. Chinese bathrooms have showers, but the concept of tubs is simply for the rich and famous. Most bathrooms have a shower faucet and shower head attached to a wall. And a drain. There is not tub to contain the water... just a floor that slopes toward the drain. Generally speaking, the water sprays everywhere and you need a squeegee to clean up after the shower. Lame.
3) Coffee. People in China don't drink your average cup o' joe. There is instant coffee everywhere, but you can't find regular coffee grounds just anywhere. And if you do find it, they're not cheap. For a 1/2 pound of Starbucks coffee, I paid 85RMB tonight, the equivalent of about $12 Canadian. CRAZY! And an Americano is the equivalent of about $4.00. In the land of cheap stuff (I can eat out at a nearby restaurant for 13RMB, which is about $2!), this is highway robbery. But there are some things I can't remove from my diet. Sacrifices shall be made.
4) Dairy Products. First off, they don't have Half&Half. Strike one. Secondly, Chinese diet doesn't really include cheese, which makes it expensive and hard to find (the good stuff, anyway). Strike two. Third, the milk is homo and is often "super-pasteurized". Not sure what this means, but it's scary to buy milk in tetra packs from the dry goods section. In my books, you're out.
5) Blue jeans. Apparently, the one consistent thing said amongst all the male Canucks I've met over here is the same: buy jeans before coming. Mens jeans come in slim fit or mom jeans. Not much in between. This makes me just a bit sad.
6) English. The signs around China are hilarious. And jibberish is common. On menus I've read the following: "Self-control beef", "Baked smail", "Good for yoo chiken part". There are also a lot of other signs that make no sense. They provide endless entertainment, though.
7) Smoking. Word hasn't reached this burgeoning nation about cigarettes being bad. I've experienced people smoking in elevators, in clinics, in cabs, in restaurants, in bathrooms, in markets and massage parlors. The memo didn't quite make it here (or it got lost in translation). *cough*
Things done "Well" in China:
1) MSG. You can buy it in bags, in boxes, in barrels, and it's in ALL the food. If you have sensitivities to food, avoid this country as a culinary experience. I have still not actually found just plain old table salt here, but in every supermarket there are complete AISLES dedicated to a wide variety of MSG brands. I didn't even know you could BUY the stuff! Strange.
2) Cheap stuff. I can eat at restaurants for cheap. I can shop at markets for cheap. I can ride the bus for 15 cents! I can buy beer or wine for the same price as bottled water sometimes. That, my friends, is simply great.
3) Neon. I mean lights, not coloured clothing. Sorry to all the Colour Me Badd fans out there who got excited that maybe a trend was coming back. It's not.
4) Massage. You can go pretty much anywhere at nearly any time of night and find a massage place. There's one in Darren's building that I've attended a couple of times. Although the massage therapy practices and schools differ here, paying less than $15 Canadian at 2am for a full-body relaxation mass is just simply AWESOME.
5) Honking. People don't use signal lights. They don't stay in simple driving lanes. Any area of the road is fair game, and the communication method most widely used is the tootling of the horn. It means many things including, "I'm passing", "I'm right beside you", "I'm crossing a double-solid line so I can move faster", "You're an idiot", "Watch out pedestrian, because even though you're on a crosswalk and have the right of way doesn't mean I won't mow you down like Kentucky crab-grass", "I'm driving! I'm driving! I'm driving!". Now, there are other uses for the horn, but this list covers most bases. You'll never hear more honking in your life.
Okay... another day is done, and Halloween is coming. Gotta rest up (and think of a costume. Any ideas?).
T